The Epic Sh*t Storm of Change (and How to Survive It)

When we were young, the world softened our landings. First day of school? Someone zipped your bookbag, tucked a snack into your lunchbox, and told you you’d do great. There was a safety net, and you could lean into it.

Adulthood does not hand out safety nets. It hands out curveballs. Instead of balloons and pep talks, you get bills, medical appointments, deadlines, and calendars that look like a NASA launch plan.

And transitions do not line up politely. They stack. Career shifts, health scares, family conflict, car accidents, loss. One minute you are thinking, I’ve got this. Next you are wondering if this is what drowning feels like.

Why Transitions Feel So Hard as Adults

Our brains do not love change. Research shows uncertainty and unpredictability can trigger the same stress response as a physical threat. Translation: that pit in your stomach when life throws a curveball is not weakness, it is biology. Thanks, amygdala.

Transitions are woven into every stage of adulthood. You are deep in finals and the phone lights up with news about a parent’s sudden illness. You pull into a field to drop one kid at practice while your mom texts for a ride to her appointment. Your career looks steady on paper, yet you feel stuck and invisible. Perimenopause enters the chat and your own body feels like one more thing outside your control. No one is immune. The difference lies in how we respond.

Prolonged stress without recovery can chip away at sleep, mood, focus, and heart health. You are not broken. You are human.

How to Find Your Way Through: The SEW Check

When the storm hits, you do not need a grand plan. You need a pause, say “Well Sh*t! Now What?!” and do a SEW Check.

1) Awareness
Name what is happening. Not the entire storm, just one piece.
“I’m terrified of failing this class.”
“I’m angry I’m doing this caregiving alone.”
“I feel invisible in my own home.”
Naming it creates space between you and the chaos.

2) Ownership
Ask, “What part of this can I influence?”
You cannot stop illness. You cannot pause puberty or menopause. Maybe you can cancel one commitment, ask a sibling to cover Tuesday, or set Do Not Disturb after 10 p.m.

3) Action
Take one doable step. Drink water. Step outside for fresh air. Journal for five minutes. Call the friend who will not judge your ugly cry. These are not luxuries. They are lifelines.

Quick Self-Care Boosters for the Thick of It

Screenshot these for later.

• The 3-Minute Reset: Step away. Close your eyes. Inhale for four, exhale for six. Repeat until your shoulders drop.

• Micro-Joy Hunt: Notice one small joy, then let yourself feel it for ten seconds. A silly meme, your dog’s tail, the smell of coffee.

• The “No” Practice: Say no to one thing this week, even if it is small. Protecting your energy is care, not guilt.

A Final Word

Transitions will keep coming. Some arrive as ripples, others as tidal waves. You will not control every storm, but you can learn to steady yourself inside it. You are not weak for struggling. You are human. When change knocks you sideways, pause, do a SEW Check, take one step, and remember that you still deserve the same care you once got on your very first day of school.

By Lepa Modie, SEW Balance Founder & Licensed Therapist